


Panic Attacks

by SimRed



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Boyfriends, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, Kuroo Tetsurou/Kenma Kozume - Freeform, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23929660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimRed/pseuds/SimRed
Summary: Kenma Kozume a boy that suffers from anxiety and panic attacks.His parents won't help himBut what about his Childhood friend Kuroo Tetsurō?Will and can he help him?This was one of my first stories ever so my writing style is still shitty c:
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 23





	1. Introductions

Kenma Kozume  
16 years old  
suffers from anxiety  
gets panic attacks  
plays volleyball  
position setter  
lives alone  
Best friend Kuroo Testuro

Kuroo Tetsuro  
17 years old  
lives alone   
plays volleyball  
position Middle Blocker  
Nekomas captain  
Best friend Kenma Kozume

Because of Kenmas panic attacks he has an app on every gaming console, one of Kuroos friends made it for him.  
If he gets a panic attack all he has to do is klick on the app and immediately a message will be send to Kuroos phone with Kenmas location. This also goes for the team and friends of Kenma if he gets a panic attack and they're near by they'll get a message like Kuroo. Kenma is really thankful that Kuroos friend made that app.  
One time he had a panic attack that was so bad that the only thing he was able to do was sending a message to Kuroo, because of that Kuroo didn't know where he was so he had to call the police to help him. The police was able to locate Kenmas phone and drove Kuroo there. When he arrived Kenma was about to collapse.  
So Kenma was in the hospital for one week. Kuroos friend heard about it and made the app. It was finished on Kuroos birthday so it was his present for him and Kenma.  
Kenmas parents never cared about him they said the panic attacks were fake and he was seeking attention. They didn't visit him in the hospital. They were always out on partys or were working they never had time for Kenma. Kenma was glad that he had Kuroo to help him to get through the hard times with anxiety and panic attacks. Whilst Kenma was always by his side and stopped him from doing stupid or dangerous things. They help.each other to stay on the right way.  
He never went to parties that's why Kuroo only celebrated his birthday with the team and 1 to 4 friends. A few days after that he always had a big party where Kenma was too, but in Kuroos room playing videogames. Kuroo took Kenma like everywhere he went when he went to parties Kenma was always with him but in a room and Kuroo came by all 30 minutes to look if Kenma was fine. If Kenma asked him if they can go home Kuroo always said yes because he was proud that Kenma came with him and to thank him he listened to Kenma when he asked for something to drink or eat or if they can go home.


	2. Please help me Kuroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning  
> Panic attack
> 
> I have never experienced one that's just what a friend of mine told me it feels like

Pov Kenma Kozume  
Here I am alone again...  
Yep... They probably went to a party again...  
I was getting more nervous every second...  
To be honest I wasn't alone...  
My mum's best friend was here she was staring at me...  
I felt how my hands moved to my neck to scratch.  
Stupid hands stop! It isn't good I promised everyone in the club I would stop!  
Oh god... Stop staring...Get out... Leave me alone... You know where the things are... Can I go now...?  
I was about to walk to my room when suddenly a hand grabbed my wrist.  
"And where do you think you're going? Come one stay here with me. Your such a cutie."  
Oh god let go of my hand... Please just let me go... I don't wanna have a panic attack in front of her... She would laugh at me like my parents...  
"C-can... Can you let go of my wrist p-please?"   
Oh god... I stuttered... Will she think I'm weird...?  
"No I can't. I have some plans with you..."  
No.No.No.Nonono.... Please just let me go... I don't want you to touch me...  
"Please... L-let go of me..."   
Come on get yourself together... Break free from her... Shit... Arms do something move! Oh god... please everything but not shivering...  
"N.O. like I said I have plans with you."  
"Please...J-just le-let me g-go..."   
Please someone help me... Help me to break free from my state right now...  
"What's the matter?" Her 'worried' tone and look are so fake.  
"Just... let go of me..." please don't get a panic attack now...   
She pulled me closer.  
She sat me on the sofa next to her.  
She crawled on top of me.  
I tried to say something or push her away, but I couldn't move or speak.  
I felt how I started to shake.   
How my breath got shorter.  
How it almost stopped.  
How my heart moved a mile per minute.

Kuroo! Please help! I can't do this alone! Come on you usually come over today... Please come Kuroo!

I started to move my hand forward my gaming console.  
I almost reached it.  
"And what do you think you're doing?"  
"I-"  
"Right you do nothing"  
I somehow reached it.   
I got my hands on it!  
I pressed down on the app.

My symptoms of getting a panic attack got more and more worse with every second that passed.   
My vision got blurred.  
All sound from outside got shut out...  
My breath got faster and faster.   
So did my heart.


	3. Help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning again

~Pov Kuroo Tetsuro~  
I was in a fancy restaurant with my family we were celebrating the birthday of someone I didn't know.  
Everyone was happy and doing fine. But not me I had the feeling like somethings gonna happen... It didn't feel right... I was brushing it off because what could go wrong? Someone storms in here and tells us to give him everything we have? Lame.   
Someone walks in and starts killing people? Not so lame...  
Someone takes us all as hostage? A lil bit scary...  
Someone starts choking on food? Sounds funny...  
It was lame... Everyone was talking and asking me stupid questions like how's school? What are you doing when you finished school? How are your grades? Do you have a girlfriend? Oh man this sucks... I hate it when the whole family gets together...   
"Hey Tetsuro"  
"What is it mom?"   
"Your phone won't stop buzzing"  
I was thinking about what it could be.  
"Do you wanna check it?"  
"No-" But that was when I realized what it could be.  
"Yes!"   
I stood up and took my phone. So it was really that what I hoped that it wasn't... I ran out.  
"Tetsuro! Come back!" My mom or someone else shouts.  
I run and run.  
I was now able to see the town where Kenma lived.  
I felt how my muscles told me to stop running and take a break, but my mind told me that I had to run to help Kenma.   
I arrived at his house.   
~No pov~  
Kuroo stood in front of Kenmas door. The light in the house was on.  
Kuroo knocked on the door.   
No response.  
Kuroo knocked again now harder.  
Still no response.  
"KENMA! Open the door!"  
No response only some shuffling.  
"Sorry Sir. How can I help you?"  
There she was a woman one head shorter than Kuroo.   
Brown hair. Blue eyes. And only in underwear with a bathrobe over it. Her chest was big and so was her ass.  
Kuroo already knew her. She was one of the many ex-girlfriends his father had. She was together with his dad for one week when she started to flirt with Kuroo and tried to kiss him. He of course told his dad.   
"YOU?! What are you doing at Kenmas house?!"  
"Oh hey~ How you doing~? Pretty boy~"   
"Stop calling me that. Where is Kenma?!"  
"Who? His parents they're out on a party~"  
"You know exactly who I'm talking about."  
"No.I don't~ So who are you talking about~?"  
"WHERE THE FUCK IS KOZUME?!"  
"Oh you mean him~ I do know~ I had some plans with him~ But he's weird he started shaking and shit like that~ So I just left him there~"  
"Let me go to him"  
"Why should I~?"  
"Because he needs my help!"  
"Oh with what??"  
"Let me the fuck in!"  
And with that Kuroo pushed her aside and walked in.  
What he saw. He could never forget it. He swore himself to never leave him alone again.


	4. Don't be sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was the second I wrote so my writing style is still shitty

~Pov Kuroo Testuro~  
Kenma was laying on the floor he didn't move.  
"KOZUME!"  
I ran over to him. The only thing that was moving were his tears that rolled down his face. His eyes were closed. So he did collapse.  
I pulled him into a tight hug.  
"Hey Ken... Everything will be fine now okay? I'm here she can't do anything to you anymore." I was super quiet. I hope that he heard me.

~Pov Kenma Kozume~  
I woke up to a soft and worried voice. Who is it? Where am I?  
What happend? I was able to answer two of my three questions.  
I am at home. On the floor?  
I got a panic attack because of that bitch.   
I finally opened my eyes my vision was blurry. Ugh I hate it every time after crying everything is so blurred.  
So who is holding me?

~No Pov~  
Kuroo was on the floor. Kenma on his lap and in a tight hug.  
Kuroo quietly talked to him. He was telling him that everything would turn out fine and that he needs to be strong now.  
Kenma was finally getting a better sight.  
He tried to push the person away because he didn't knew who it was, but as soon as he saw that it was Kuroo he melted into the hug. Kuroo realized that Kenma was finally awake.  
"Kozume... Thank god..."  
"Tetsu? Are you alright you're sweating alot..."  
"Oh yeah I am totally fine. You just had a panic attack. One of my father's ex is here. She tried flirting with me and did who knows what with you. I ran here from that fancy restaurant, but everything is fine Kozu" Kuroo answered in a super sarcastic tone.  
"S-sorry... I know I have to control them... I know I have to be strong... I know that you won't be here for me all the time... You'll get a girlfriend get married maybe have kids? And I will be alone in a house trying to get my anxiety and panic attacks under control..."  
"What no! Kozu I didn't mean it like that... Your question was just a lil bit stupid..."  
"Oh... sorry..."  
"Don't be sorry Kozu"  
Kuroo began to play with Kenmas hair because he knew that he actually really liked it. But because he was and antisocial freak he told him to stop most of the time. Like always. But in situations like this it he really enjoyed it and it helped him.  
"Now to you." Kuroo said looking over to the woman that caused all of the trouble. He was super angry.


	5. Are you Gay? I don't know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realls wanna edit this into my new writing style but I'm to lazy so bear with this shitty style

"Oh~? Me~?"  
Kuroo really had to control himself if it was legal he would have stabbed her by now. But it wasn't. (And since he is a super smart person he doesn't want to end up in a prison xD)  
"Why did you do that to me? Why didn't you leave me alone? I could have died from that shit. I could have fucking DIED! You are so shitty I bet my parents already had a threesome with you."  
"Oh they did sweetie."  
"Shut up that wasn't a fucking question!" Kenma was getting more angry. Kuroo was busy to keep Kenma and himself calm.  
"Well it was no fun with you anyway, because you didn't get hard. Are you gay or some shit like that?"  
"Maybe to be honest I don't know if I like boys or girls."  
"Well I think your gay." And with that she left.  
"Shit." Kenma started to shake violently again and tears rolled down his face. Kuroo was super worried for Kenma.   
"Hey Kenma wanna stay over at mine to night? I don't think that you wanna be alone right now."  
All he earned as answer was a small nod from Kenma, who fell asleep in Kuroos arms, face hidden in Kuroos chest.  
~Pov Kuroo Tetsuro~  
I got up with Kenma asleep in my arms god he looks so innocent. But he isn't Kenma is one of the dirtiest people I know and Terushima is one of my friends. Whatever you say they both would think dirty and laugh. I snapped out of my thought when I felt warm breath against my chest. Kenma hid his face in my chest. He looked like an angel who's secretly a demon when you get known to him better. I somehow got my phone out to call my mom.  
||on the phone (< this stand for his mom speaking > and [ this for Kuroo speaking) ||

[Yeah I am fine. But I will go home now, I'll take Kenma with me.]

[Yeah but this time it was the fault of one person. I will tell you about it tomorrow. I have to get going it's cold out here.]

[I'll mom thanks. Bye.]

And with that she hung up and I started to walk toward my house we had to walk through the park. Some girls whispered something like 'I wanna be carried like that to by him or my boyfriend'. I just rolled my eyes all those girls were so annoying they were everywhere. I finally arrived at my house. I somehow opened the door, and closed it again with my feet. I walked up to my room. I layed Kenma down on my bed and took of his jacket and shoes. I somehow got him into a big shirt and hoodie of mine. I also changed into my sleeping clothes which were sweat pants and no shirt. With that I also layed on bed behind Kenma and pulled him close so he felt safe when he slept. After awhile I drifted of to sleep as well.


	6. Move a bit

~Pov Kenma Kozume~  
I woke up because I couldn't breath properly, I felt something around me it was warm, it was alive.   
That was when reality hit me it was... Kuroo who had his arm on my throat.  
I shaked his arm.   
"Kuroo."  
He slightly moved.  
"Kuroo."  
"Hmmm?"  
"Wake up."  
He shook his head.  
Okay I guess he wants it the hard way.  
"Wake the fuck up! Get your lazy ass up!"  
"No~"  
"Kuroo I swear to god I will hit you so hard if you don't get up."  
"No you won't~"  
"Are you sure about that?"  
"Yeah you would never ever hit me."  
"Oh~ is that so?"  
"Yeah~"  
"Well I guess you're still dreaming."  
With that Kuroo earned a hit on his head.  
"Ow what was that for" he asked placing his hand on the spot where I hit him.  
"I told you to get the fuck up! I'm hungry."  
"Make breakfast by yourself you know where the things are."  
"Oh and how the fuck am I supposed to get up?" I asked and slapped his arm.  
"Ow. Jeez I'm sorry. You hit harder than Yaku."  
With that he moved his arm away.  
I got up.  
"I'll tell your mum that you're still sleeping."  
"Thanks, kitten"  
Oh god how I hate that nickname. Kitten what the hell Kuroo?  
I made my way down to the kitchen, suddenly a good smell hit me. Pancakes. His mum made pancakes. God she's a god. Her food is the best and she knows me super good. Almost like Kuroo.  
"Morning Kuroo-san."  
"Oh good morning Kenma. How are you? I heard that you had a panic attack again. I'm so glad that Tetsuro takes such good care of you even tho he's a little bit stupid."  
We both laughed at her last comment.  
She always treats me like her second sons. I really like that.   
"Oh Kuroo is still asleep."  
"Okay I'll put some away for him."  
With that we started eating. After we finished and she went to work I realized that I was wearing a hoodie only?!  
But I didn't complain, it smelled like Kuroo, I know it sounds super creepy but his smell calms me down. He knows that so he gave me his favourite hoodie for the night. I sometimes hate how good he knows me but then it's also a good thing. He just understands how I think. He somehow knows what I feel when I don't know what I feel. It's like we have a special connection.   
I have read things about it, yes I'm also a book freak. Shoyo told me that he has the same feeling with Kageyama, and I ship them so hard. Finally Kuroo came down.  
"Morning. Where's the food?"  
"It's in the oven she made pancakes."  
"Oh I love her and pancakes."  
I hope you love me too.  
I was getting bored.  
"Nee~ where is my gaming console?"  
"Uhhh... In my room on the desk."  
"Okay thanks."  
I walked upstairs. I could also change... nah that's to much effort...  
It's comfortable right now. I picked up my console and walked down again. I flopped down on the couch.   
~No pov~  
Kuroo just finished eating and placed his dishes in the sink.  
Kenma took the hole couch for himself.  
"Kenma move a bit."  
Kenma moved a little bit so Kuroo could take place in the couch.   
Kuroo was just being Kuroo and layed down behind Kenma, and started playing with his hair again.


	7. Kiss

~Pov Kenma Kozume~  
I was playing a super hard level I almost killed the boss of the level when suddenly he used a strong attack and killed me.  
"Fuck!" I move my feet and somehow kick something?  
"Shit Kenma!" Kuroo was whining behind me. I turned around. And guess where I kicked him. Right in the balls.  
"I-I'm sorry." I tried to sound serious but I broke out in laughter.  
"Kenma... Stop laughing you know how much it hurts."  
"Yeah that's exactly why I'm laughing." I really tried to stop laughing but I just couldn't.   
"I hate you."  
"No you don't"  
"Yeah you're right. Kitten."  
"Stop calling me that." My cheeks were getting red I turned away so Kuroo couldn't see it.  
"Why Kitten? I think kitten sounds really cute and it fits you~"  
"Shut up Kuroo!"  
I kicked him again next to his balls. It was so funny. He flinched super hard.  
"Pffff-"   
"Kenma..."  
Oh shit he looked a lil bit scary.  
"Sorry. Sorry. It was just to funny."  
He glared at me and moved his face closer to mine.   
No.no.no stop Kuroo. My face was red by now.  
I tried pushing him away, but of course he was stronger than me so it didn't work. He then came dangerously near to my lips. I just couldn't control myself, I knew he wanted to kiss me but was afraid of doing so. So I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him to my so his lips were on mine. It felt... right it felt perfect. Of course Kuroo the dirty person he is wanted to make things hot fast. He pushed me down on the sofa deepening the kiss soon it turned into a hot make out session.


	8. Remember it?

No pov~  
After they were finished doing you know what I mean both of them fell asleep after putting clothes back on.   
That's when Kuroos mother came home super happy, happier than Hinata when they won a match.  
"Tetsu~ Kenma~"  
Both woke up from Kuroos mum calling them.  
"Yeah what is it mum?"  
"Just come down it's important"  
Both got up and made their way down to his mum. She was holding a paper. She seemed so happy both wondered what happend.   
"So what is it mum?"  
"Since you asked to move out into your own house. Your aunt decided to move in with me so you can move in to her house."  
"Wait... Really?!" Kuroo almost broke Kenma in half when he hugged him out of excitement.  
"Yeah and there's something that is even better."  
"Even better?" Kuroo asked with a confused expression.  
"Yeah~ I spoke with your parents", she looked at Kenma, "and they said that you can move in with Tetsu."  
"Wait really?!" Kenma was surprised that his parents allowed him to move out. But then he realized that they were just happy that they didn't have to deal with him anymore.  
"Yeah, please take care of him and NEVER leave him alone in the kitchen he will burn down the house."  
"Okay got it."

\---three months later---  
"Kozu~ I'm hungry~"  
"Shut up I told you that you have to buy something that will be made fast but you forgot now deal with the consequences."  
"Rude."  
"WHAT WAS THAT?!"  
"I said you are rude."  
And with that something flew out of the kitchen and hit Kuroos head.  
"Ow! What was that for?!"  
"For calling me rude. You know I could just make food for myself and let you idiot starve~"  
"No~ you can't do that to me."  
Kuroo got up and walked to the kitchen. He walked up behind Kenma and hugged him from behind. He gave him a kiss on the cheek. Kenma started blushing and muttered something like 'one day I will kill you'. Kuroo only chuckled at that. When food was finished both ate together and Kuroo told Kenma how much he loved Kenma and the food he made. After they finished eating they both put away their dishes. Suddenly Kuroo picked up Kenma and carried him to the couch and layed him down. He layed down behind him and cuddled Kenma.  
"Do you remember our first kiss?"  
"How could I forget our first kiss?"  
And with that they kissed. Both were super happy and Kenma completely forgot about his shitty parents, his panic attacks and his anxiety. Kuroo was so happy that Kenma forgot all of it. He was happy that Kenma was now happy and lived with him and that he was his boyfriend. That he was the one that was loved by Kenma Kozume the Kenma Kozume people always said that can't love. But he proved them wrong.


End file.
